Panic attacks, pain and loss.

Hi all, I’m very new to this and really struggling.
I’ve only just separated and started to feel the loneliness and the pain and everything else that comes with it.
The overwhelming sense of loss and pain is just relentless.
I’m struggling terribly at the moment with everything, I’m finding very difficult to sleep I find myself waking up about 4am having some awful panic attacks and after that trying to sleep becomes impossible and the sense of worry just overtakes me.
Not sure if anyone’s got any good tips on how to overcome any of these?

Just wanted to send my support. I am 24 days on from my separation. For the first week I was exactly the same - couldn''t sleep, or if I did drop off I would wake in a blind sense of panic and grieve all over again. Not that I recommend it for everyone but I saw my GP who gave me a weeks worth of valium so try and make sure I got some rest. The following week was difficult - but not as bad. The week after was a little easier. It is cliche about time healing - but even in my short time frame I can see how far I have come in such a short space of time.
I know you feel bleak and hopeless - but you will gradually begin to feel better x

Hello there, I am sorry you are suffering right now and understand the pain of being overwhelmed by your situation made worse by lack of sleep.Since the breakdown of my long term marriage I have tried to master a few ''tricks'' to interupt negative thought troughs. Im not sure this will help you but its all I can offer. I have learnt to understand when I begin to allow unhelpful thoughts entering and taking over I try to focus on doing something for myself no matter how small it is from making a cup of tea with an extra spoonful of sugar to a long walk with the dogs...I hope this helps a little. Do you work?

Hello 106Dan and welcome to wiki.

When you’re feeling as overwhelmed as you are right now, allowing your moods to just rise and fall is the best way of dealing with your reactions to what’s happened. Panic attacks are horrible, but if you can just learn to control your breathing until the feeling passes, you will realise that they don’t actually harm you.

The sense of loss and emptiness often cannot be put into words and only those who have experienced it know what you’re going through. That’s where wikis will be able to help.

You may feel like there is just too much you need to do to get things back under control, but your best bet is to hold off on making any long-term decisions until things settle down.

The best place to start is to take a deep breath and make a list of all the things that you have no control over. Then, make a list of everything you need to do. Note what needs to be done first, and mark the things others may be able to do for you or with you, as at times like this you have to lean on others at home and on here.

With the remaining things you feel you must do yourself, take another breath and read some of the posts in the Forum. If you can''t find what you need, start a new thread. After taking these quick steps, you will find you have a plan laid out, which may ease some the frenzied thoughts circling in your head.

When you’re at your lowest, remind yourself that this intense pain is not permanent. It will pass. Now you need to take care of yourself and the healing will come in time. There is no fast track through this, but you’ll find wiki friends can help you deal with the loneliness and despair. Remember you are no longer truly alone.

Hi 106Dan, Welcome to this very useful and comforting site. It''ll be very much a part of your life for months or even years.

I am now nine months on from my divorce and more importantly nine months since I was forced to leave my son and home. I spent a year in the FMH whilst the divorce was going through and my now ex wife was going out several times a week seeing another man. It is extremely sad and hard isn''t it. Unfortunately there are no answers but there is comfort by posting whatever you like on this site. Lots of clichés will come your way and they are all true. The most common one will be that time, if you can keep yourself physically and mentally well, will help with your loss. I know, I said the same thing. "I don''t want to go through it and don''t want to experience the time" but we have no choice. I''m still here as are countless others and you will be too.

Is their any hope of reconcilliation? If not then you will go through every emotion you know and some you didn''t think existed. I''m sorry to be bleak but a quick fix doesn''t exist. The 4am wake ups are normal and won''t change for some time.

Do you have children and is there anyone else in the picture as that will make things harder for sure?

Hey mate. Hang on in there buddy it will get easier. I''ve been where you are. I''ve had the no sleep the panic attacks it was without doubt the worst period of my life. I never thought I would smile and laugh ever again. I thought I would feel like that forever, you will too, you won''t see how it can get any better but it does, slowly. Very slowly you will smile and laugh again.
I''m not going to lie to you mate it''s going to be tough, you won''t know pain like it, real physical pain but it will get better trust me. This site was a lifeline for me.

Big hugs, I am 6 months in, still have`nt managed to post the cheque for the Petition as I keep finding reasons not to. I was going through a post the other day about not sleeping. wyspecial (i think) wrote about a yoga technique for sleeping, breath in , hold for 6 breathe out, hold for 6 and so on. I have not slept for over 6 months with one thing and another but that night having followed this technique I slept til 6.30. Its the little things that get you through and everybody here knows exactly how you are feeling and what you are going through. Stay strong.