Tough Day

Yes I just don't know what to do Mitchum.

Part of me feels I am doing OK then I feel like I do now and I think maybe part of the struggle is admitting I do need help.

The internal mental dialogue is constant and everything feels like such a struggle. I need to achieve some peace.

In many ways it feels like if I got to the stage of taking ADs my mind would feel like things were now completely out of control. That scares the s**t out of me.

I think I am just really confused at times.

I seriously think you need some counselling. I paid for mine as there was a 12 week waiting list with the GP. I was losing my sanity and didn't have time to waste! I was lucky and someone recommended a therapist who helped me see things from a different perspective. It wasn't easy and sometimes I just couldn't grasp what she was telling me at the time, but the next day or maybe even a few days later it began to make sense. She once told me to get my ex off that pedestal I had put him on and he wouldn't seem half as big! Then I was to climb on it myself as it was mine and I wanted it back.

Some wikis have taken anti-depressants and say they saved their sanity and helped then through the first few months to feel normal again. I chose not to take them, so I understand where you're coming from on that, but it took me longer to feel anything like 'normal' again. However, I think you will find there is a new generation of AD's now and they're very different from the older ones. Perhaps other wikis could advise on those.

I had acupuncture for wellbeing and to help with my sleep. Waking at 3 every morning is considered in traditional Chinese medicine to be the grieving time and I woke every morning within a few minutes of 3.a.m. She pushed waking time closer to 6 a.m.

Wiki was my greatest support and I have made some really good friends. Why not organise a wikimeet near you or the nearest city? I can recommend meeting with wikis as they know exactly how you're feeling without you having to explain. It feels comfortable chatting to them because they already know you.

A day at a time, a step at a time is the way to go and you will get there. Divorced people are wounded people and healing takes time.

Hi Moona I'm very sorry you are feeling this horrible pain.
I wrote the other day that sometimes it comes from nowhere,
It started to happen to me yesterday. I had been very positive, although for a week problems with stbx .
I'm now at a loss, feeling so sad, it's Sunday, feeling lonley and scared.
But I have to convince myself all will be well . I truly beleive it will.
Please go to the doctors , I didn't want to take any Antidepressants, but in the end I did and they do help, also as Mitchum suggests counselling,
That's helped me a lot, but not always for everyone.
I'm glad you are posting your feelings, that's good, I wrote mine down in a big notebook, use the blog section too on wiki.
Get a wiki friend, send a PM to someone and support each other .
I have made a friend on here who although I've never met them feel I've known all my life, we support each other.
Take care make that appointment to see the doctor, you must look after yourself, so let us know how you get on we are all here listening.
Xxx

Hi Moona50, sorry you are feeling bad at the mo. I am at a bit of a low this morning. Totally exhausted, not really sleeping and just seem to be in a never ending wheel.
I do have to keep reminding myself how far I have come but its the little things. Walking down the road with someone in the sunshine, having someone to chat about your day (whether they listened or cared). It boils down to being lonely and only I can change that.
Stay strong and keep busy, my house is a mess as trying to keep busy so no time for house. Thats a plus.

Moona50 - so sorry you are feeling so down - I too find the weekends the hardest - try and make yourself get out even if it's just for a walk around the block it does help clear your head - there is so much support on this site too - keep posting.

Bubblegum and i have organised a Wiki meet up look on the Members Events tab would be great if you could make it.

Itsbeenalongtime I totally agree with you it is so nice having someone to chat to about the small things - it is so lonely but don't you think there is nothing more lonely than being with someone who doesn't want to be with you?

Take care

Jalisia xx

Can I thank you all for your posts of support today and the private messages.

They are so helpful. Today has been such a tough day but I am optimistic that tomorrow will be better.

Thanks all xx