Wondering what will happen

My wife left me last year , moved out of the FMH and has a rented place with her boyfriend .
She wants half the equity out the house on divorce which is around £90k total so £45k .
I have £20k in savings that she could have but wants half .
I''m self employed none and can''t borrow on the house or would not be able to secure a mortgage on a different property .
I know the starting point is 50/50 split reguadless of what you brought to the marriage .
I sold my old house and put the £80k from old house into the fmh .
She has a nhs pension I don''t have any my pension pot was the money I made on the previous house .
We have 2 kids that we share the care of and need the house for me and them .
They have more than double the income I have , can she force me to sell the house to get her extra money or will she have to except what ive got .
I know this also makes little difference but the fmh is only in my name , and ive payed everything for the whole 16 years together .
She forgets that while she was training to become a nurse I supported her fully financially , even when she was earning more than me .

Divorce proceedings have not started yet , we are waiting 2 year separation as far as I am aware .

Any advice would be great , she was willing to except £20k till the weekend when she has suddenly changed her mind .

Am I right in the fact I can off set the Morgtage against her pension , which she now claims isn''t worth a lot but that''s different to what she told me a few years back .

She has become greedy she has over £25k in savings , Id do my best to get her more if she was buying a house . But to give it to her for her and him to waste is just a joke .
17 years it''s took me to get to this point in my life surly 1 greedy scab can''t ruin it all for me and my boys .

Thanks for any advice .

Don''t get into any more conversations with her about a settlement until you have learned a bit more about how the financials are likely to be resolved.

Her pension (probably worth more than the equity), her savings and her salary are all equally relevant and part of the assets to be divided as anything you consider ''yours''. It is not the case of the woman gets half of the mans stuff.

You might end up pleasantly surprised.

Thanks ive told her that she will get what she''s entitled to and not what she wants .
She has been miss led from the start by listening to friends . At the start she told me I get 70% as she is the mother . I said then no it''s 50/50 you''ve never been a stop at home mum and always earnt a good wage since qualifying as a nurse .
But always kept her money to herself to waste , but I had no problem providing for the woman I loved but can''t do it any more now she don''t want to be with me .
I provide more than I should for the kids but I don''t mind that , even tho the maintenance doesn''t all get spent on them. I still buy things like sho
School shoes and jumpers and stuff .

They are in a lot better financial position than me . Never mind I''ll struggle on 1 year down now

Thanks

Financial settlement on divorce is about needs first - and the means to meet them.

The first step is to ascertain what is actually in the marital pot. This includes value of FMH, savings, pensions CETV etc.

You also need to look at your respective abilities to raise a mortgage (and how much).

Incomes including any benefits will also be a factor as will the size of the flu and the potential cost of downsizing.

Once you know what you have got between you and know what it will cost to meet your needs- which would appear to be a three bed house apiece, you can look at your options.

One of these may be a deferred charge on the FMH with her remaining share released when say the youngest child is 18. However you may find that a combination of her savings, retaining her pension and possibly a lump sum from your savings would mean you can retain the FMH with no deferred charge.

Hadenoughnow

Thanks for the info , also ive read that the nhs pensions are worth a lot more than the cetv that they give .
Once I get the info on this pension should I get it revalued by a expert .

Tbh Id like what her dad did but the other way round , he left her mum with the house no morgagte and he kept his prison pension , which all said and done is worth a lot more than the house .
He got £41k at 55 and £13k a year till 65 then gets £25k a year , the house is worth £140k .
Don''t see why she just can''t be like her father , who also broke the marriage up with his wondering ways .
Like father like daughter , karma is a ***** and I hope it bites her in the back side very hard .

Thanks for the info

Unfortunately you cannot live in a pension and she does need to house herself,and the children. I know she has a new partner but, unless they intend to marry, this may not be counted as a permanent relationship.

The prison pension was different because it was paid from 55,a bit like a military pension. The nhs pension will have a later retirement date. However, it is true that it may be substantially undervalued. It may be helpful to get an up to date statement of benefits setting out what the current fund will pay out and when. This will give a better idea of true value.

I think the size of mortgage you are each able to raise is going to be very important.

Hadenoughnow

Thanks , this is my problem regarding mortgage . I can not get a mortgage or borrow on my current one .
I can afford the one I have , her and her partner would easily get a mortgage if they wanted 1 but they are happy renting .
Ive been a home owner since I was 21 now 38 Id also struggle to rent as they are expensive and I can''t get any work references , my only option is off setting her pension against the equity or deferring payment to her till my youngest is 18 that will give me 12 years to raise whatever is decided.

Thanks for the reply , I just hope she sees sence .
After all the house will be left to our 2 kids as she let me go tho with a vesctomy 7 weeks before she left .
Not nice but that''s my wonderful wife haha