Thoughts on settlement

I had my own house when I met my husband. We had a child in 2013. He was in army and didn’t move into my home until Jul 2016. He left me in Aug 2019.
he got a lump sum when leaving the army of 33k, 20k went on his debts and a car. Paid towards the wedding a couple of thousand and the rest I am not sure but he never gave any to me or towards the house.
never paid me anything before he moved in - to me or for our daughter.
I have 100k in equity in my house.
just received his CETV for one of his army pensions which is 295k.
he was originally seeking £40k from me but at FDR reduced this to £20k.
he hadn’t disclosed his army CETV and claimed he gave me all of his lump sum which my solicitor never disputed (he has now been sacked)
we are fully divorced and my ex came after me for a pay out. If anything i think he should be thinking about paying me out. I have low income and not great health. He has decent income (three times my salary) but yet wants money from me....any thoughts?
oh just trying to negotiate the letter that is ordered for anoension expert to produce an actuary report in his pension which is likely to increase the value of his pension.

thanks in advance.

So are you heading for a final hearing??

What did the judge at FDR say about a settlement?

Is he legally represented?

Who is the applicant?

How long was the marriage itself?

Are his housing needs met?

I think he is running a risk here. The courts will prioritise the needs of a child and the parent with the majority of care. They have quite wide discretion when it comes to needs - and that applies to pensions as well as property. It is possible for you to be awarded a pension share to equalise income in retirement based on the whole pension if needs dictate. Even if any share is only based on the length of the relationship, he could be losing more of his pension than he feels comfortable with.

If it is decided he should have some equity from the house, if you cannot afford to raise it now, he could have to wait at least until your child is 18. Any argument that you would have to uproot a child to meet a demand for cash (especially if his housing needs are met) is a pretty unattractive one.

Any contribution he claims to have made — and I assume he has been asked to evidence what happened to it - will be entirely secondary to needs. Courts do tend to take the view that what's gone is gone although it would be useful to show it was used for his personal debts if you can.

Are you representing yourself now?

Hadenoughnow

Thank you for your reply. To answer your questions.

Yes we are heading for a final hearing.

At the FDR he had disclosed he wanted 40k. We went away had discussions and he then reduced it to 20k. The judge was very non commits but did say 20k was more like it. However she didn’t have his CETV down as his asset (just my equity of 100k in my house) his CETV has just come through at 300k (army pension) my solicitor at no point questioned the fact it was missing etc hence why he was sacked!

The applicant is my ex husband. He is legally represented. We were married for short of 3 years but if you include the absolute it is 3.5.

The murky waters are that he is claiming to have lived with me years before he did, presumably to get his hands on more of the equity. The judge did not make decision on cohabitation but does that matter anyway if it is a needs case?

His housing needs are albeit renting but he has never owned a house anyway.

His pension is currently 11k a year which will rise to around 17/18k in 6 years when he is 55.

I don’t have a pension to speak of, just an old one with CETV of 8k.

He has a further pension with his job now CETV 12k and rising (been there for 5 yrs) and another part to his army pension that comes in at age 55.

My wages are 11k but topped up with universal credit. I have three children, only one to him.

I am representing myself now. Eeek ..

Oh and on top of his pension obviously his salary 22k ish and his war pension 2.5k.

Ok, well that claim re cohabitation works both ways - it would all count towards pension sharing if only pension from the relationship is considered.

Your needs will include the needs of all the children.

When is FH?

If it is more than a few weeks away and you still have the s25 etc to do, you may want to consider getting some support of the kind we offer via our divorce consultant service. Give the helpline a call and say you have been referred from the forum.

Hadenoughnow

Thanks again.

I don’t know when the final hearing will be - still waiting for a date but when I rang they said likely to be July/Aug time.

We are in talks regarding the actuary report. They letter the other side wrote was quite unfair so with a lot of research me and my parents put one together based on the pension advisory group and current legislation to make it a fair letter for both sides. We need this before FH.

I have started my s25 statement but any help on that would be great so I will ring your consultant service - thank you.

I have tried to point out to his solicitor that it is a needs case however ha is disregarding this.

I have some family members (who are not blood related) that his solicitor has said should bail me out as they are wealthy. I think the hope is that I/they will buckle and pay out but this is just not going to happen. They are hanging on in there though as they don’t seem to want to negotiate anything. In my opinion it should just be a Clean Break - this would be the fairest way. He seems to be forgetting that if I was to pay him out we would be in even more poverty and despite seeing our daughter he doesn’t recognise the impact it would have on her if he was to win such a drastic amount of money from me. Anyways...

No relatives, blood or not, are obliged to bail you out and their wealth does not come into it.

His assets and income are both greater than yours so it would seem unlikely that in order to balance this out money would flow from you to him.