Christening without my consent?

Have just found out my stbx wants to christen our baby duaghter of 9 months old.

I find this a complete farce, I am a non-believer and my stbx had an affair for six months of her pregnancy, so how she can claim to be Christian and bring our daughter up with Christian beliefs is beyond me.

I simply don't believe we should force this on a 9 month old, I'd be happy for her to choose her faith when she is old enough to understand it.

Now my question is.........can my stbx go ahead with a christening without my consent?

I cannot answer your question but I am in a similar position, so will be interested if someone can answer. My husband had an affair during the pregnancy (adultery is a sin surely)and NEVER went to church - only for our church blessing (I conceded him that after harassment), so I am amazed when people like him then want a christening too. But many religious people are hypocrites (sorry controversial!). My husband and his family have less 'christian morals' than my 'pagan' family.
I would like to think that any church official would want to meet both parents - like they do for a church blessing/wedding - to find out what their religious beliefs/commitment is. If someone lies and says their other half is 'abroad' etc. surely they would want written consent?

I have been on the web tonight and the only thing I found was one church who said they would want both parents to agree to the Christening, but need to know if its a legal requirement? If its not I fear she will just go ahead and do it.

You hit the nail on the head - my stbx preached all the high and mighty stuff, then ditched all the 'beliefs' during the affair, then lo and behold suddenly she wants to appear all religous again with a Christening - hypocrite was the correct choice of word YM!!


Makes me sick.

It is not illegal for the parent with sole care to go ahead. You could argue against it if you had equal responsibility for the child's upbringing & welfare.
TBH the child will go it's own way later in life, regardless of ceremonies held now. It is just another thing to argue about.

Hi there

The only way you could attempt to stop her exercising her parental responsibility in this way is to apply for a phrohibited steps order. However, it is highly unlikely you would suceed on the basis that she is at least a notional Christian and is proposing a Christian ceremony.

Amanda

I'm in agreement that your daughter should be able to choose which faith, if any, she wants to follow when she's old enough. I doubt you'll be able to do anything to stop her being christened though. I know for a fact that my partners ex got their kids christened just for a day out, a party. She'd never stepped foot in a church before that in her life probably.

I told my husband if he took my boys off to be christened I would shave off their hair except for their side ringlets and turn them into Hassidic Jews (of course I wouldn't!).

My friend told me to be very careful about arguing about everything thing. He went through a very acrimonious split and they spent 10 years going to court over everything - schools, birthday parties, what they could and could not eat etc.

There are going to be so many issues you are going to disagree on - this probably would have been the case if you had remained together. When should she have her ears pierced, what time should she go to bed, should her boyfriend say over? (long time ahead I know). The reason why my parents marriage is so strong and has lasted so long, is they were in agreement about so many things, they always worked together. They had similar beliefs and ethics about what they wanted for their children.

Sometimes you just have to step back and know that if you continue to be strong for your daughter and protect her from stress and tension, she will appreciate it in the long run.

If she is christened - simply have your own secret 'pagan' naming ceremony like my best friend did. Have all your family and friends around. Light candles, play some African lullaby cd’s, get your closest family member to read some poetry, make a keepsake book, plant a tree for her and give everyone a rose crystal in a gift box. Like a christening ceremony it means NOTHING, but it may give you and your family something to ‘own’ and laugh about in years to come.

Remeber to rise above it all...

Take care

Yummy