I give up.

I'm so sorry, wish I could help. I was so touched by your first post.
All I can do is say I do so hope things will get better in time for you. You maybe need a big hug and I can only send you a virtual one.
Please be strong and keep going and get through it at least a day at a time, even if you can't see further than that at the moment. xxx

Soupdragon,

I posted this a while ago for an american chap who was feeling very low in similar circumstances. Thought I would repost. Excuse the americanisms:-

Why do we have low moments?
We can only grade what is good and bad in our life, by comparing the two experiences together.
Anyone who fails to experience low moments will not truly appreciate the good moments when they next come along.

Concentrate on the Positives
You say that you have kids at school. Surely you want to see them graduate, go to prom, blossom into adulthood, enter their own relationships, make their own mistakes then cry on your shoulder when they need your help.

Imagine walking your offspring down the aisle when they have met their soul partner...

Imagine the patter of tiny feet when you become a grandparent for the first time...

Imagine them throwing you a surprise retirement party before you embark on sailing round the world in a yacht...

I do not even know you but aleady from you post I can see all of these momentous events in your future.

A blob of clay is quite plain and could be mistakenly thrown in the trash. However the same blob of clay once it has been crafted by an artist can be a magnificent sight and become very valuable over time.

Your life may appear to be a blob of clay at the moment but it has potential....

The future is bright..the future is yours to craft as beautifully as you allow/wish....

Stay strong, not only for yourself but for your kids and in the future for their kids...

well soupy people are telling you how it is and how it was for them.if you can just say to yourself that these people have felt the way i do and i don't know how but they managed to pull through or ars in the process of pulling through no matter how bad they felt.

In order to make a bit of progress i had to say to myself well how i feel and what i believe is not helping me at the moment i am stuck in these feelings i need to have a bit of trust and faith in these people and try just try and believe what sounds unbelievable what have i got to lose.It was at that point that i had the odd glimmer of belief thinking if what they say is a wee bit true i maybe can get through it.when we are locked in the depression thing we cannot imagine how it would be possible to feel any different we need to trust others cos what we think is not good for us.keep going soupy and keep taking those ad's.

We're not emotionally stronger, we have just been there too and felt exactly the way you. Time has healed us a little. You just need to feel the pain, and it is pain. But take small steps, don't think of tomorrow, or getting better, often this makes it more daunting. Just take things minute by minute, then it will turn into hour by hour, then day by day. You will be fine and come out te other side event though you don't think you will....I promise.

I've just realised how boring a Magnolia painted wall is!
Come to think of it, the ceiling is dull too.
I have got to get out of this room.

Don't look at those walls!! Go out buy a pot of your favourite colour and paint one wall! If you are in rented buy a funky picture that You like!! Take Care and chin up!

Soup your absolutely right about magnolia !!!