Hi all. Wife wants to seperate.

Don''t move out.

Best option I can see, agree with her that the house needs to be sold. Do all the little odd jobs necessary in order to get the place ready for sale then put it on the market. By the time it is ready to be sold you will probably be past your tie in deadline. This with both of you still living in the property.

If she wants to move out in the meantime with the children this is her choice. You are not making her. It actualy makes the most sense financially as she will get assistance with the rent, council tax etc. If she stays there and you move out you will be paying the mortgage. She will never leave, she will never be able to take over the mortgage as no income and you will then be unlikely to ever be able to buy somewhere else whilst remaining on that mortgage. She is emotionally blackmailing you into doing what she wants.

Look, your motives are good and the best for both of your futures. Hers are not. Or perhaps they are, perhaps she does just need some space and doesn''t want to live with someone she''s separating from. But you can never be sure of what is going on in her head. So trust that you are going to be doing the right thing and do not let her emotionally blackmail you into doing something that is not right for both of you.

I will say it again for dramatic affect, do not move out.

PS My thoughts about CAB - She''s told CAB that you will not be having the children overnight ever, so have no requirement for a place bigger than just accomodating you.

Hi,
I can''t help thinking that your s2bx seems in a big rush at the moment, there must be something that is driving that behaviour, she wants you out ASAP for a reason.

You are what, two, three weeks since the bomb dropped, still probably in a state of shock (and possibly denial) this does not put you in a good place to make descisions that will ultimatly shape the rest of your (and your children''s) lives. Tell her straight "I don''t feel strong enough to discuss this now"

If she is insistant that one of you has to move out tell her to be careful tha the door doesn''t slam on her ar$e when walks out.

LB

Be very careful with the ''niceness'' she is trying to manipulate you for her own means. Listen to the advice and stay put it''s your house too and you will lose all leverage if you move out. If she''s unhappy, has given up on the relationship (and I suspect found someone else) and wants to separate then she needs to take responsibility and move out herself. Can you support the children on your own for a bit..??

I was very clear with my stbx (not in an agressive manner I hasten to add) when it all came to a head that she now knew what decision ''she'' had to make. She packed a bag and subsequently left and went to her Mothers. In hindsight I''m glad she did as saved me the trouble of physically ejecting her from my home.

Well she is not being nice now, and wants to go to mediation.

I told her I am not going to leave and I did not want to tell the kids until the Separation Agreement was in place and we know what is going to happen.

I told her I don''t believe either of us can afford the house and selling it was the best option for all, I then wanted to start looking at costs to try and make an agreement on our futures but she just started going off on one saying that her finances were none of my business. I am prepared to pay a fair amount based on each of our finances once the kids are sorted so we both have some money, she is under the impression that I should pay as much as possible from my wages.

She is twisting everything I say and is refusing to sit down and try and come to an agreement. I will try and sit down with her again tomorrow but I am not sure she wants to.

Help! What the .... do I do now?

Hi
I hope by now you are getting the impression that she wants to f**k you over...
Forget the separation agreement, they are not water-tight legally, and for the moment don''t bother with negotiation ..take some time out to work out what the likely outcomes will be for you, if you post details here some wise wikipeep will be able to offer an opinion on this.

LB

Let me tell you about mediation. It has cost me over £1400 over four sessions. Her, nothing. I finally agreed on a 75/25 split in equity and she keeps 95% of the possessions. I walk away with debt and the car. That''s it. Access to the kids is two phone calls a week and eight hours on a Saturday. She got a good deal, yes?
Now she has cut the phone off. Switches her mobile off and I don''t get to talk to the kids. She is also saying I was scaring her the last time I got the kids. BULL!
She will screw you if you haven''t got a clear head. Stay calm and try to stay one step ahead. Mediation is not worth the paper. If she is out to get you it will be cheaper through your solicitor in the long run. I wish I had researched all the blogs to find out that the majority of men on here have the same story and all the exes are the same. Including my STBX and I suspect yours will join that club.
Keep strong bud.

What happens if I get a solicitor involved?

Would a solicitor help draw up a fair separation agreement?

I will try and sit down again tomorrow.

Bum!