Life DURING Divorce!

annieo wrote:

Hi Sera

Several people have told me that writing stuff down has helped them to cope with things. Some keep diaries, others write letters to their ex (but don't send them).

Also, as ChrisM says, keeping busy helps. Why not take up a new hobby - this will give you a new interest and you will also meet new people.

Hope this helps

AnnieB)

Hi Annie. I used to do this. I would write emails and not send them. You can write it all down and then burn it. Looks a bit weird if you are at work though. People will think your a pyro ha ha. Chris.

Yep, a friend told me to write down my feelings and thoughts too. She said it would demonstrate in a years time just how bad things where and how everything had improved.

I have put some things in my blog but I really wish I had taken her advice more fully. People tell me things have improved and yes they are right to an extent but on some fronts I feel that things are worse (especially with eldest son).

I do have the chance of my own house before Christmas, my money seems sorted out but to me this fades into insignificance when compared to the love of my kids.

I do think it is important to push oneself into motion. Be proactive rather than reactive. Make your own luck.

I am down to sobbing my heart out once a week instead of twice a day. I have been doing a course. Studying is the only thing that would totaly take my mind off it.

But I am feeling a lot brighter now, although I get angry from time to time. If you can see some sort of a future for yourself it helps. I have just started to feel like I might have one.

This site also helps. and the people I talk to in the chatroom. If this site proves anything it's that bad things happens to good people.

when my wife walked out i was depressed because i didn't know anything was wrong untill she packed up and went. But then i met someone whos marriage has also finished and we talk al the time, i find it helps to be able to talk to someome in a similar situation and we cheer each other up.

The trouble comes when my wife gets in touch with all her demands stating her sol has told her i have to give just about everything including the shirt off my back.

Well Markp there is one concilation in all of this she definitely wont want the shirt off your back because it means she'd have to wash it!!

Seriously though, I felt the same until I came onto this site and I have found that women's sols always seem to be winding them up to go for everything they can get and convincing them they will get it! However, as many wise ones on this site, who have been going down this route for much longer than me, will agree, that is not necessarily the case. I was so, so angry that I was being told what she wanted, it was all about her, her, her! Nothing was coming back about me or my feelings or position in all this. Well, since I have spoken to a few people on this site I am now preparing for my looming FH with a much clearer view that there is hope for me yet and that all should not be lost........we shall see but for now I am feeling lots happier!!

Sera,

I also know what you are going through and totally sympathise and agree.

This limbo situation is HELL and some days I don't feel like I will be able to stand it much longer, but have no choice.

Unfortunately, I am trying to find solace in a bottle, but it ain't working. Joined a gym today and feel so much better for looking after myself, but its the long evenings alone that really get to me.

Would go away if I could afford it, but funds are tight- really not used to all this.

My husband is a control freak, now, but also financially and psychologically during the last few years (married 21)- so he ain't gonna stop now-cruel and hard- feel like I don't know him

Was thinking how kind people on here are, maybe should be more cautious, but possibly could set up face to face local support/social groups- feel so lonely

Sorry to hear you are feeing so lonely. Setting up local group sounds like a good idea. Wish you all the best with it.

Maybe you will find some friends at the gym? Might be a place to advertise a group? Hang on in there, you always have us on this site. Not the same as face to face but better than nothing and always accessible.

The chat room is often a good place to be about 10.

Best wishes

Shelia