Why Do Women

Agreed Sera. Yes we have much in common. Its always been my belief that women and men share good and bad points. I think that we all have core values and they are not all the same. My ex didnt know what hit her. To be honest I just planned my way out of there and did the best I could. I reaped what I sew and I did ok. Some dont though.

How can you love someone 80%? Some people say the most weird things. Chris.

nice to see some sense being posted by Chris & Sera. It seems that cheating has become acceptable, hell if you paint a dark enough picture of your partner your cheating on, you can even get help & sympathy.

"You can't help who you fall in love with" its a load of boll**s, i would never entertain a cheater, this is why there is no way back.

If my wifes carrying on with this guy from work, she is doing it by lying to me & my 5 year old lad, she goes out once a week & tells both of us where & who she is going out with, i'm not bothered & don't ask for explanations but since she got spotted over 2 months ago she likes to keep us both informed.Perhaps it ended before it really started, luckilly i got to see the person that my wife has become. I agree with Fiona, yes it is nice to stay amicable for the sake of the children, however how easy this will be remains to be seen. If someones done wrong by me, i don't do nice.

jay160602 wrote:

nice to see some sense being posted by Chris & Sera. It seems that cheating has become acceptable, hell if you paint a dark enough picture of your partner your cheating on, you can even get help & sympathy.

"You can't help who you fall in love with" its a load of boll**s, i would never entertain a cheater, this is why there is no way back.

If my wifes carrying on with this guy from work, she is doing it by lying to me & my 5 year old lad, she goes out once a week & tells both of us where & who she is going out with, i'm not bothered & don't ask for explanations but since she got spotted over 2 months ago she likes to keep us both informed.Perhaps it ended before it really started, luckilly i got to see the person that my wife has become. I agree with Fiona, yes it is nice to stay amicable for the sake of the children, however how easy this will be remains to be seen. If someones done wrong by me, i don't do nice.

I am the same Jay. Forget yes forgive never. Thing is she had no reason to do this to me. I could understand it if I was a total bast**d to her but I wasnt. I did everything for her. I took her thru her mum and dads death in 2001 and 2003 and I was rock for her. I gave the speaches at both funerals and sorted all the details out. All she had to do was morn there passing. I took her on 3 holidays a year she had a house to die for. Sex was good and I loved her kids like my own. She totaly and utterly betrayed me. But the worst thing of all is she turned the kids against me. She wants the fat coacher to be dad. I will never see them again and to be honest after what they did I dont want to. I can never forgive the part they played in all this either.

He has forsaken his kids for her becuase she doesent like them. All this wreckage becuase she wanted a bit of rough. But I know things about him she doesent know or refuses to admit to herself. He raped and beat his wife of 25 years. He hit her so hard once it knocked her front teeth out. In their 25 years of marriage he had 15 - 20 affairs. How that poor women stuck with him is amazing. Chris.

Jeez!!!!

Chris, I think you just hit-the-nail-on-the-head!

Here's what I know. My female friend, (was really great mum, good wife, great housekeeper etc) has just spent the last six months having an affair with a long-distance lorry driver ('bit of rough').
He's rootless, sees her in a hotel room once a week, meanwhile she has a great husband, (and two wonderful kids)... then just today, she says she thinks she needs Bereavement counselling, she's lost both her parents within the last five years... and now admits that all her 'messing about' stems from feeling 'lost', out-of-control, life not making sense any more etc.... and her sexual antics are a direct result of her feeling hopeless, and abusing herself.

Also, since she's had two major losses, she fears allowing her husband close, (and has pushed him away), because ultimately - she fears losing him.

I think there's more to your wifes story, and despite your relationship having been good with her, you must not blame yourself. Maybe when she recognises she needs help, she'll seek it.

I'm being pushed aside too, my husband lost his wife, just a few months before meeting me, he's pushing me away without reason also.

Death does weird things to people. I'm not saying that's an excuse for treating you badly. But it could be a major trigger to the colapse of your marriage.

Sera wrote:

Chris, I think you just hit-the-nail-on-the-head!

Here's what I know. My female friend, (was really great mum, good wife, great housekeeper etc) has just spent the last six months having an affair with a long-distance lorry driver ('bit of rough').
He's rootless, sees her in a hotel room once a week, meanwhile she has a great husband, (and two wonderful kids)... then just today, she says she thinks she needs Bereavement counselling, she's lost both her parents within the last five years... and now admits that all her 'messing about' stems from feeling 'lost', out-of-control, life not making sense any more etc.... and her sexual antics are a direct result of her feeling hopeless, and abusing herself.

Also, since she's had two major losses, she fears allowing her husband close, (and has pushed him away), because ultimately - she fears losing him.

I think there's more to your wifes story, and despite your relationship having been good with her, you must not blame yourself. Maybe when she recognises she needs help, she'll seek it.

I'm being pushed aside too, my husband lost his wife, just a few months before meeting me, he's pushing me away without reason also.

Death does weird things to people. I'm not saying that's an excuse for treating you badly. But it could be a major trigger to the colapse of your marriage.

Hi Sera. Thanks for your post. I think you are right. When her mum died and a year later her dad died (Nov 2003) she was lost. I did what I could for her. She also reached 40 in 2005 and its a magic year for some people good and bad. But she said she wanted change in her life but she didnt know what. I encouraged her to retrain. I gave her my savings to buy on line courses for all sorts of things. She did nail courses (Gell and airbrush) and some holistic ones like reflexoligy etc. So yes it did change her.

I did everything to encouarge her. I even had a go myself and was with her all the way. I started a company for her (fabnails.com) and a website that sold her products (nail varnish and other stuff) and it was fun. But I suppose there was a hole in her life that I could not fill.

Her first husband was also disposed of. Not with the same venom but disposed off all the same. I thought it was becuase he was a total bast*** to her. I have my doubts now. This is how she deals with people that are surplus to requirement. The real bad news is that her kids have seen how I was dealt with and beleieve this is how you get rid of someone. Real shame that those kids have been damamged in this way.

I never got on with my dad. But I would not have let him be treated this way. Her kids were utterly ruthless with me. They also deserted and betrayed me. If someone is in trouble I am always 1st in the que to help. I guess that not everyone is the same and some people (including kids) love it when someone is suffering and just want to make them suffer more. They can have no conscience and no feelings.

Chris.

Erm, false nails... pretty much tells me all I need to know.

But concern here is for you. One rule I've learnt in life, that you never have someone elses' agenda! And the good (caring) people seem to get used, and spat out!

She took the help when she needed it, (as did my husband), now I'm kicked to the curb. I have a flight to Morocco this afternoon, but he's stolen my ticket. Nice bloke.

The more you see her being vile, the more you should be happy that you're rid of her. Don't be envious of the fat-coucher, PITY HIM!

We each deserve much better, and I'd forget about her and move on. I know it's hard, but this is destroying you.

There's a saying: What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger'.