Why Do Women

by the sound of things there are no dependent children involved so i would of thought 50/50 would of been the norm for your settlement in any case. If you both worked & both paid 50% of the mortgage then i can only presume you have your own pension, or have had every chance to pay into 1 yourself.

Tinny wrote:

Jay
With respect, Disruptivehair is not your wife.

Disruptivehair - everything makes sense when you get the whole story. Yours seemed to come out in bits so maybe Jay took you up wrong. Maybe!!!!

What a long thread.

There's no maybe about it! I thought Jay was unnecessarily hostile to me, probably projecting his feelings about his x2b onto me. Thing is, I'm not a doormat and once you start taking things out on complete strangers I am no longer sympathetic; there's no excuse for such behavior.

I thought I was being very mature and reasonable about the situation with my x2b. He ran off to his mummy and she helped him with the divorce petition. He even called my mother and accused me of abusing him because I yelled at him when he left gobs of jam on the kitchen counter for the zillionth time and I came downstairs one morning to thousands of ants all over my kitchen. Yet *I* am the bad guy.

jay160602 wrote:

by the sound of things there are no dependent children involved so i would of thought 50/50 would of been the norm for your settlement in any case. If you both worked & both paid 50% of the mortgage then i can only presume you have your own pension, or have had every chance to pay into 1 yourself.

I probably could have gotten more than 50% if I wanted to drag his name through the mud and drag this thing out for a long time, but frankly it's not worth it to me. He also owes me a couple thousand pounds in miscellaneous expenses, including a non-refundable airplane ticket and my half of the car that he kept, but I'm not going to press him on those. I'd much rather just be rid of him and his creepy disgusting family, and it's worth losing a couple thousand pounds just to be rid of him and never have to speak to him again.

I don't hate him...I just find him monstrously irritating and I haven't loved him for years. Time for both of us to just sever our ties and get on with our lives.

Hello disruptivehair,

I have read this very long thread and setting aside Jay's comments for the moment, I am intiruged as to your response that you could have probably gotten more than 50% if you wished?

Not to judge either way, just wondered why you felt that you could've gotten more, yet you previously mentioned english divorce law isnt very good and you would prefer the texan one.

Is it english divorce law that has made you feel the above? Is it very different to texan law in that respect? Just curious

I agree that it is probably best to be rid of the ex as you say, however maybe if so many other people didn't feel that they could get more than 50% in the first place, alot of the ugliness would simply disappear from english divorce law. I have read alot about scottish divorce law on here too and that also seems to be better than the english one.

I was also a reasonable ex and did not assume I would or could get anything more than half, however there are many many people on here who are on the receiving end of ex's that aren't.

You have however unwittingly summed up alot of mens feelings on here by admitting that many men would "kill" to have an amicable ex like yourself.

I hope things resolve quickly for you and still amicably, although I have a sneaky feeling jay will not be so lucky with his ex.

I agree that it is probably best to be rid of the ex as you say, however maybe if so many other people didn't feel that they could get more than 50% in the first place, alot of the ugliness would simply disappear from english divorce law.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, if no kids then 50% split is fair.
In the cases where one parent is left 'holding the baby' so to speak then the future financial implication of that, including comparable earning capacity, lifestyle and living expenses clearly needs to be taken into account and will have an effect on the eventual financial split, upon which the stay at home parent will obviously come out better off. The reason why women tend to do better is usually because they tend to be the SAHP. Not always though. Each and every case is differentand is heard on it's own merits by the court. No person on here knows the full facts of anyone elses marriage, nor circumstances. This site is helpful to us all in our own way and it is wholly innapropriate for individuals to cast judgement on other users because of their own personal predjudices.

DandyHighwayman wrote:

Hello disruptivehair,

I have read this very long thread and setting aside Jay's comments for the moment, I am intiruged as to your response that you could have probably gotten more than 50% if you wished?

Not to judge either way, just wondered why you felt that you could've gotten more, yet you previously mentioned english divorce law isnt very good and you would prefer the texan one.

Is it english divorce law that has made you feel the above? Is it very different to texan law in that respect? Just curious

I agree that it is probably best to be rid of the ex as you say, however maybe if so many other people didn't feel that they could get more than 50% in the first place, alot of the ugliness would simply disappear from english divorce law. I have read alot about scottish divorce law on here too and that also seems to be better than the english one.

I was also a reasonable ex and did not assume I would or could get anything more than half, however there are many many people on here who are on the receiving end of ex's that aren't.

You have however unwittingly summed up alot of mens feelings on here by admitting that many men would "kill" to have an amicable ex like yourself.

I hope things resolve quickly for you and still amicably, although I have a sneaky feeling jay will not be so lucky with his ex.

Given the level of fraud and deception in our marriage (all his fault) including him pretending to make preparations to move to the United States when he had no itention of doing so and the way in which he screwed me over when I left...yeah, I think I might find someone sympathetic.

He even lied to our solicitor and told her he had discussed the 50/50 split with me and it was already performed by the time I found out about it. I told her that I had not been told about it since we had arranged for all the money to go into a joint account and she was furious about being lied to. She called it fraud.

However...it's not worth it to me to fight him on this. I'm secure in the knowledge that he was wrong and pretty much everyone I know agrees. Believe me, if my parents had thought I'd done something to deserve this they'd have said so. My x2b is an a-hole of the lowest order.

As for divorcing in Texas...a quickie no-fault divorce is a simple and inexpensive process and does not require so much assistance from lawyers, so much evidence, and so much filling out of forms. UK law is ridiculous and I am extremely irritated about being subjected to UK law all the way here in the USA. I was hoping that when I left the UK in June I would never have to deal with it again and I intended to file in Texas. Unfortunately my stupid idiot of a husband beat me to it.

I want him to withdraw the petition so I can file here in Texas. I'll even pay for it. I don't want to deal with UK courts at all, period, the end.

DandyHighwayman wrote:

I have a sneaky feeling jay will not be so lucky with his ex.

Well as it stands at the moment rather than go through the courts we are negotiating between ourselves on the equity split. She wants 55%, i say 50/50 as we have agreed shared residency for our 2 children. Neither of us want this to go through court so i may agree if she foots the bill for the house sale fees.

I know my settlement could be worse if it went through court,even though my ex2b has never made a single mortgage payment in our 9 years as homeowners.

When i asked her why she should have the extra 10%, she replied "because you earn more than me". So she expects more because she left school with no qualifications, packed in every college course that she ever did. She had a crap paying job when we met, & she still has now & she expects me to foot the bill.

Yes my comments may of been strong against disruptive hair, but if you look over her latest comments you can see that she has a whole lot of bitterness towards her ex2b & his family. & then accuses me of being anti women!! She has now painted a dark picture of her ex2b, but believes that she is a saint in all of this because she only took 50%.

There are 2 sides to every story & i realise that if my wife was posting on here she would have plenty of digs at me, however i don't think that leaving jam or crumbs on the unit would be mentioned.