Love and Sex

Hi Shezi Same to you and by the way you are looking great (even better than a while back good for you).

What is worrying me is that I haven''t had sober sex for about 17 years, I started getting drunk partly to get through the ordeal and party because my husband used to come back from the pub after downing massive amounts of Stella (which someone aptly named wife beater) and Stella on the breath stinks just like dustbins in my view.


Now for the timebeing I appear to have beaten my addiction to drink (well that is what I am telling myself right now) I am very anxious about revealling myself to anyone sober:S How sad is that as I am going to have to let myself have some feeling - scares me senseless right now oh dear.

Still, what is encouraging is that some people have got over it and I have followed Shezi''s battles over the years on previous posts and in chat (took me a year or so to get up the courage to go on chat - maybe I ought to got back to that?).

Anyway, onwards and upwards and Samchik best of luck to you (you have already helped me more than I think you realise).

As Shezi said you run the risk of being happy one day (and one day you might even begin to think that in some way you have a right to happiness - although in my view rights and responsibilities are not mutually exclusive).

I am hoping not to go staight on the boil or into a moderate simmer, just luke warm would feel good to me as at the moment I am basically "cold as ice".

I find i have to think about Nobby Stiles and Booby Charlton a lot when I''m having sex.
If that pair of fugglies doesn''t prolong it nothing will:blink:


HRH xx
Is that the sort of thing we''re discussing here??

Haway it can be if you want. My husband looks remarkably similar to Ronald MacDonald.

Shortly after he left to start his affair which ignited in my face literally overnight I found a receipt in the bin which included a few interesting items including Rose Wine (which was my best friends favourite) lots of expensive food but also Durex vibrating Black condoms (don''t know quite what apart from pleasure that was about as he had had the snip - maybe he was looking for health protection:blush: ).

Anyway, it did conjour up a great picture for me of husband with his ginger curly hair, no clothes a black vibrating willie and one of those joke revolting bow ties.

Well, we all seek pleasure in different ways. I will leave you to seek indulgence in Bobbie Charlton.

Hi Soulruler (Pip)

Great thread.

I kinda thought that they went hand in hand. We both agreed through our marriage that as with all good things, it got better with age.
Whether is was a quick trousers round your ankles moment over the bannister or the full blown...."yes, yes, yes" we both enjoyed it. Or so I thought!

When he got caught with that scrubber (I''m being polite) and then some of the very hurtful comments that came my way after. That floored me. The things that went through my head (because she was a professional after all!) That I really must have been so shit, for him to get jiggy with a prostitute. But that''s his path now.

That said, it does leave me very distrustful of men and I''m not prepared or upto to even venturing down that road. It would have to take someone very brave to change my mind.

I''m with you Nota - not interested due to the years of abuse and also being betrayed for a ''professional'' - and in his notes for first visit to solicitor said the marriage had broken down because of ''lack of conjugal rights''.

Will take a long time for me to trust anyone again in that department.

I have to admit I''m just always incredulous that I''ve managed to get a woman in bed with me so I always enjoy it

All the best
HRH xx

Surely sex has to be a two way thing or at least feel like you are getting something back. Missionary position for 17 years, no oral and definitely no lights on about five times a year does take its toll in a relationship it must do surely doesn''t it. You talk about it but it gets repetitive after so long when your made to feel sex is dirty and the other partner only seems to do it to please the other and not enjoy it themselves. Probably get shot down in flames now but hey ho your a long time dead!