Lies lies lies!!!!

Ughhhh I received questionnaire responses from the ex and it''s all
Lies!

Claiming that I should pay for the debt of a sofa in my exs name because I enjoy sole benefit......he demanded the damn thing from the marital home a year ago. He was hounding that me much I felt I had no choice but to give it back even though I''d been paying for it for over a year.
He claimed I took out the sofa on finance in his name but hasn''t provided any evidence. (His signature is on the credit agreement but I do not have that evidence) but basically he''s accusing me of fraud!

Claims he needs £150,000 for a 3 bed house for him and his girlfriend and needs a 10k car (he has a perfectly good car from
The marriage)

I have stated I need a 3 bed house at 90k because we are a family of 5 and 3k for a second hand car.

He''s blatantly clocked up 10ks worth of debts since seperation but claiming it was to pay debts from the marriage . Didn''t know he had debts while married to me statements show he hasn''t paid anything off and refuses to provide supporting documentation on the amount of debt on the day he left me.
He''s claiming It''s all marital debt but statements show he''s been on 4 holidays,spent £175 on a pair of shoes and £100s in expensive clothes shops!
So angry he''s claiming this a marital! I''ve struggled feeding my kids and myself on £15 a week at some points and he has the cheek to add these to marital.


He claimed of form E he''s ceased his part time self enployment but when questioned admitted he''s still registered as self employed but couldn''t carry on as he''s stressed with the relationship ending (he was earning an extra 10k per 6 months self enployed part time
So has brought down his income right before we go to court by 10k

He''s also claimed to be shocked that I claimed mps As he was supporting me using the child maintance at £90 a week (private arrangement) payments as proof of him supporting me financially
He should of been paying £125 by the csas calculation but I was happy with £90
Until he dropped his income and refused to pay me the previous agreed amount knowing the csa amount now would take less.

I''m so so angry I''m absolutely spitting feathers.
I''m never going to be able to represent myself I get way to cross

To add insult to injury he''s claimed all along that our house needs to be sold because he can''t obtain a mortgage while tied to mine but him and his new partner could raise 150k- to 190k according to his questionnaire response
I''ve been declined for a mortgage and the house is only worth £65k with a 59k mortgage.

Pointless. He''s clearly doing it to upset me and his kids

Then just to upset me even more I''ve got my 7 year old crying all day because daddy refuses to spend more time with him.
Child''s rings daddy and asks daddy can we see you tonight or Tommirow ? Can you get me early? Daddy says no
Crying child then ex texts saying if I reduce my csa he will see them more.


I hate getting this angry I can''t sleep,can''t eat,can''t function

He is trying to demonstrate that he has no disposable income so that he cant pay sm.

Dont worry its very unlikely the court will force sale of house. This case will come down to whether the mesher order should imclude a share of future equity or not.

As to the contact I wouldnt be allowing a seven year old to be ringing daddy to ask for more contact. All contact arrangments should be made by the parents.

That''s how the dad wants it,he will not speak to me at all
My boys have to ring and leave an answer phone message saying it''s them and then he phones them back. He ignores in when my number flashes up in case it''s me.

Just another example of his need to control

We have been to mediation ect wasn''t interested about my issues if I tx him with concerns or email I get a torrent of abuse
When I try and talk to him in person he screams and shouts and upsets the kids.

Other than stopping his access I have no idea how to get back some control from the situation

I hate the whole situation it''s damaging for my kids ect but I feel I have no power to change the situation without being the bad guy
And looking like I use my kids as a weapon

Thanks for answer by the way

You know it''s funny before we went to court I offered a 50/50 split on the house because I was terrified of going to court so the way I see it now anything above a 50% split in my favour is really a bonus
I just don''t want to be lumbered with the 20k repairs on the property that are needed and where needed before he left
otherwise I''m never going to get any money back from the house.

Hi,
It sounds like your ex is really putting you through the mill.
I know it is often easier for someone on the outside looking in but try and remain calm. He knows how to push your buttons and get you to react - do not give him the satisfaction of him knowing he is getting to you.

I am saddened by what you say regarding contact with your children - as a father living apart from my kids, I have an arrangement with my ex whereby we have joint custody. I pay the right level of maintenance and we have a structure in place for access. Any father that holds a gun to the mothers head to say reduce the maintenance and I will have them more doesn''t deserve to have that quality time with their children. It should never come down to money - Parents have a responsibility towards their children despite what they are dealing with. It is cleary starting to affect your kids and sadly for your ex, this will inevitably back fire on him later on.

I have done everything I can to work with my ex during our split - It has got messy at times, as most situations like this do but we have always put the childrens needs first and made sure they are protected and spend equal time with both of us. I couldn''t imagine one of my kids calling me to ask if they could spend time with me and saying no to them.

It makes me cross that whatever the problem was / who caused the problem for a marriage to breakdown, that the children become involved in a point scoring exercise.

As a man, father and soon to be ex husband, I am sorry that you are facing this terrible situation with you ex

The courts know every trick in the book - he can hide his income and pretend that he doesn''t earn much but they will know and when they dig deeper it will all be revealed.

As I said earlier - keep your cool, don''t react and look after those gorgeous kids of yours