Couldn''t of gone worse at the FDR but it''s over!

Well judge didn''t look at any of my paperwork
Didn''t speak to me or ask my opinion on anything and only spoke to my exs barrister.

The judge then refused to give an opinion on the matter which seems incredibly strange
The judge wasn''t concerned my ex hasn''t provided a pension forecast wouldn''t address statement of issues or anything.
I then asked the judge if he could please express an opinion so I can attempt negotiations at least as I really do not want to go to a final hearing.
He agreed completely that the house should be sold immediately as it''s to small for my needs and we was only married 16months
I argued cohab that the house was purchased in 2005 and a child born in 2007 which the judge stated that''s merely courting!!!!
He also said Full Clean Break and each keep our own debts.
I asked surely a nominal order would be acceptable with two children and he said no!

The judge didn''t ask once about the children or how they would be rehoused or what money is available

The judge wanted to list for a final hearing ,by this point I decide I have no fight in me and I would rather agree a sale than fight any longer and clearly would need representation at the final hearing that I cannot afford

So I agreed to go away with two children 6 and 8
£6700 marital debts husband keeps £2700 marital debts
The ex got the car
My income of 13k benefits ex has income of 37k income last year
Full clean break
And I can stay in the house paying the mortgage for 3 years and then it''s sold but I keep future equity
They tried to put a marital clause in the mesher order but I managed to get that out so at least I''m free to marry my partner if we should wish
So don''t feel like my free will has been taken away at least

Ex wanted it sold within a year but I stuck at 3 years and we agreed by negotiation.
I''m gobsmacked I thought the children are meant to come first
but I''m free!!!! it''s over and I can concentrate on my family

Oh and I asked the judge what one little paragraph thing meant as I didn''t understand the wording and he ripped my head off! The judge then asked the other sides barrister what it meant as even he didn''t understand what it meant himself safe to say up against this judge and the barrister i just wanted it over

If I understand correctly you have a Mesher Order for three years so that you and your new partner have time to maximise your incomes, raise a mortgage and have the opportunity to buy your husband out of his share. Is that correct?

Yes 3 year mesher
But triggering sale points are
My death
3 years
If I leave the house voluntarily

Yes 3 year mesher
But triggering sale points are
My death
3 years
If I leave the house voluntarily

Guess not what you wanted but at least you have 3 years to sort your finances and get a mortgage.

In practice pensions aren''t always shared when couples are younger and there are many years before retirement. The costs of valuing a small pension fund and sharing it make it not worthwhile. It isn''t uncommon for nominal spouse maintenance to end once the recipient is in a settled cohabiting relationship which you are, if you are intending to remarry. The courts are reluctant to impose Mesher Orders for many years.

I think you now need to sit down with your new partner and discuss what you need to do to increase your incomes and mortgage raising capacities over the next three years. You may be in a better position to obtain a mortgage if your partner researches what documentation would best support a mortgage application and if you work even though you have to pay most of what you earn for child care. Some lenders will take tax credits, Child Benefit and child maintenance into account if you can provide documentation such as a Consent Order which includes child maintenance, a CSA/ CMS assessment or a written voluntary agreement.