Couldn''t of gone worse at the FDR but it''s over!

I feel sick what if my partner leaves me?
My husband walked out on me for someone else so what''s stopping my partner doing the same.
I''m absolutely terrified I have no safety provisions for myself or my childrens housing needs and 6ks worth of debt and no way to pay them
Life feels pretty shit right now
Hopefully it''s just the stress of today and I''ll feel better in the morning

I understand how you feel which is why I think you need to consider employment even if it''s part time initially. The sooner you can start the more likely pay increases and promotions are and the less dependent you will be.

I don''t have any gcse''s or qualifications to my name.
My partner now works away to support us so I have no idea how to juggle 3 children on my own and work responsibility''s and flexibility to be available for work on top childcare costs for 3 children
And Something that''s fits within half term and school hours


I feel like I gave up the only employment prospects I ever secured which resulted in me being made redundant. (My hours around the children s childcare didn''t fit the business needs resulting in redundancy) so my ex can forward himself in his career and I take on the role looking after the children freeing him up to concentrate on his work
fully expecting that I would benefit from my partner/husbands future income..
7 years of my life for nothing,supporting my husbands career to be left as soon as his career started paying a good wage!

I feel like my contribution was for nothing and no value places upon every sacrifice I made. I gave birth to our 2nd child without my husband as he chose to work away during my due date.

Him and his childless new partner both have good jobs,will live in a lovely house and don''t have the day in day out struggle of raising two boys from a broken home.
They have it so easy and can''t help feeling peeved my partner has to pick up the pieces of my broken marriage.

I''m devastated,I haven''t stopped crying since I got home.
I feel worthless.

Unfortunately you have been disadvantaged by having a child with your new partner and therefore estiblishing yourself in a committed relationship prior to sorting out the financial details from your short failed marriage.

The fact your new partner is a low income earner, whereas his partner earns a reasonable wage isnt the fault of your ex .

Its now time to re think your life choices. What sort of career would you like? Can you study for some qualifications and give yourself some choices?

Its tough dusting yourself down, when you have children. I have been in your position. An ex with a good career, which I had supported by leaving a job to follow him around the country, when the marriage failed I had nothing. I went back to college and now 20 years later have a very successful career.

Nearly over wrote:

I feel sick what if my partner leaves me?
My husband walked out on me for someone else so what''s stopping my partner doing the same.
I''m absolutely terrified I have no safety provisions for myself or my childrens housing needs and 6ks worth of debt and no way to pay them
Life feels pretty shit right now
Hopefully it''s just the stress of today and I''ll feel better in the morning

Don''t spoil a new relationship by being insecure. Why would your new partner leave you? He chose to be with you when you had two young children.

You have now got the security of your home for the next three years. Use them to build for your future.

I''m so very sorry for how this turned out - I know exactly how you feel - I went through something similar but was married far longer than you over 25 years.
My ex got his large salary, pension & bought a 5 bed house - I got the kids and now rent . Due to my lack of income I have to rely on benefits - I too felt pressured into settling at FDR - it seems the same thing happened those who earn money can afford decent legal representation and the judges just don''t listen to us. I tried to speak up and got told if I didn''t shut up I would be in contempt of court - i mearly asked the judge how I was supposed to keep a roof over my kids heads. They were older one at uni and one at 6th form - I was told they would have to get jobs?!
I too was left with £14k in marital debts they were on credit cards - I wrote to each of the credit card companies explained my situation and they have frozen the interest and I pay £20 a month - as that''s all I can afford. It gives me a little breathing space!
Don''t worry about what might or might not happen try and concentrate on your children and trying to work out what is best for yourself and them. I used to resent how fortunate my ex was in his big house with his flash car but it made me ill. I had to try forget him which was easier for me as my kids were older and chose not to see him so I didn''t have contact.
I hope you can sort out your situation and try and move on - seek help from citizens advice and ensure you''re getting all the benefits you can. Try and consider all your options it helps to write everything down -
Lots of Hugs and seek help from friends and family if needed - it''s hard I know.

I don''t think we can afford the tuition fees but maybe I need to look further into what help would be available,more debt seems a terrible idea but obviously I now need an education.
2k for 4 GCSEs seems excessive though
My Partner has just secured a new job so things are on the up in that department.
he is officially employed and has doubled his income if he passes the 3 month probation period, he is keeping his self employment up and running so he has no gaps in his employment when it comes to obtaining a mortgage.
We where getting our ducks in a row and have been for 2 years but obviously the damage to my credit rating has been done and time needs to pass for that to become irrelevant.

Let''s face it if it was a choice between the house or having my new partner and child I''m going to be happy with my choice but that still doesn''t calm my fears my partner could leave.......
Guess that''s damage caused by the infidelity of my husband and a fear I''m just going to have to ignore if I''m ever going to live anxiety free again.

I''m still in shock the judge was not interested in how the children would be housed and wanted to make sure in the event my relationship breaks down they would have a safety net.
I feel my children have been completely let down when they are vulnerable.