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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


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Its Final - Its Over

  • Jerseylass
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25 Aug 07 #2399 by Jerseylass
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On Tuesday i made him make a final decision. I suppose some part of me wanted him to say would could work things out, but that didn't happen. We decided to separate. Told our 5 girls last night. What a nightmare. I will move out and buy a house with my daughter and he will find somewhere for himself and his 4. Maybe we will be able to see each other after we have separated (like it was at the begining) only time will tell. Perhaps we both need space and time to find each other again. Who knows? Shame really. We never argued or shouted, just grew apart and he wanted to find himself again i think. Cest la vie. x

  • JLGsDad
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25 Aug 07 #2401 by JLGsDad
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Good luck, although I know things are never easy particularly when feelings remain. Glad to see that it is fairly amicable, and I hope it all goes well for you.

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25 Aug 07 #2407 by Liago
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Its always very sad when a marriage breaks down over a period of time. I wish you lots of luck in the coming months, remember to take care of yourself, I hope it all stays amicable x

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26 Aug 07 #2440 by Sera
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I wish I could feel this calm and rational!

Good luck!

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27 Aug 07 #2448 by Jerseylass
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Thanks all for your support. I have very mixed feelings at the moment. We want to finish the house before selling and reckon it may take about 4 months, so think we will all be together till the New Year. Will be nice in a way to have xmas together, although i think feelings will be running high as it will be our last in the house and poss our last together. I'm not sure if its a good idea or not. Sometimes i think it would be better if i looked to move asap and then again we want to get the best poss price ffor the house, so i suppose it makes sense to wait. I just have to be strong and make sure my feelings for him are kept in my head and not my heart. A great tension seems to have been lifted off of everyone and thats a good thing.

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27 Aug 07 #2449 by dun
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Have you both tried Marital Therapy ? Does your husband know you still have feelings for him ? Maybe he feels you forced him to make a decision, it really sounds like you should try and sort the problems out rather then split up.

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27 Aug 07 #2452 by sexysadie
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Or maybe you will both be happier as friends. It can be done. My brother and his partner split up last year and also found that they were both relieved once they had decided to do that. They weren't married and sorted the finances between them very amicably. Now they both have new partners, live near each other, and the children spend half a week with each of them. They support each other (for example each has done more childcare when the other has been ill) and even still go on outings together with the children. So it is possible to stay friends if you are really determined to go for this with a good will, and maybe working on the house together so you both get the most cash from it is one way to do that.

I'm not going to achieve any of that with my own ex, however, but there it is...

Good luck, anyway,

Sadie

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