Its Final - Its Over

On Tuesday i made him make a final decision. I suppose some part of me wanted him to say would could work things out, but that didn't happen. We decided to separate. Told our 5 girls last night. What a nightmare. I will move out and buy a house with my daughter and he will find somewhere for himself and his 4. Maybe we will be able to see each other after we have separated (like it was at the begining) only time will tell. Perhaps we both need space and time to find each other again. Who knows? Shame really. We never argued or shouted, just grew apart and he wanted to find himself again i think. Cest la vie. x

Good luck, although I know things are never easy particularly when feelings remain. Glad to see that it is fairly amicable, and I hope it all goes well for you.

Its always very sad when a marriage breaks down over a period of time. I wish you lots of luck in the coming months, remember to take care of yourself, I hope it all stays amicable x

I wish I could feel this calm and rational!

Good luck!

Thanks all for your support. I have very mixed feelings at the moment. We want to finish the house before selling and reckon it may take about 4 months, so think we will all be together till the New Year. Will be nice in a way to have xmas together, although i think feelings will be running high as it will be our last in the house and poss our last together. I'm not sure if its a good idea or not. Sometimes i think it would be better if i looked to move asap and then again we want to get the best poss price ffor the house, so i suppose it makes sense to wait. I just have to be strong and make sure my feelings for him are kept in my head and not my heart. A great tension seems to have been lifted off of everyone and thats a good thing.

Have you both tried Marital Therapy ? Does your husband know you still have feelings for him ? Maybe he feels you forced him to make a decision, it really sounds like you should try and sort the problems out rather then split up.

Or maybe you will both be happier as friends. It can be done. My brother and his partner split up last year and also found that they were both relieved once they had decided to do that. They weren't married and sorted the finances between them very amicably. Now they both have new partners, live near each other, and the children spend half a week with each of them. They support each other (for example each has done more childcare when the other has been ill) and even still go on outings together with the children. So it is possible to stay friends if you are really determined to go for this with a good will, and maybe working on the house together so you both get the most cash from it is one way to do that.

I'm not going to achieve any of that with my own ex, however, but there it is...

Good luck, anyway,

Sadie