A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Mon/Fri 9am-6pm       Sat/Sun 2pm-6pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

Hold on a Minute!

Hold on a Minute!
Written by
Jackie Walker

You know what it’s like just as you’ve made a decision to do something and someone else pipes up ‘Hold on a Minute’? Your heart sinks as more options or objections suddenly start to filter their way into your awareness. The fantastic decision you just made is thrown into disarray, you begin to doubt yourself, you start to wonder how you could have been right with your thoughts in the first place.

It’s ok you’re not going mad, you’ve not even made the wrong decision. All that’s happened is that you have more information from someone who doesn’t have all your feelings, thoughts or experiences. Now it might be that what they give you is worthwhile considering and that is something only you can determine. It would be churlish to reject input from someone whose opinion or counsel you respect. It might be on the other hand that this person has a motive (and not realise it) to stop you making the decision you’ve laboured over.

"The strongest human instinct is to impart information, the second strongest is to resist it." Kenneth Grahame

Let me give you an example –

Colin and his wife were going through a sticky patch in their relationship. They’d been there a few times, this time Colin knew what he wanted to do and made his decision to end the marriage.

His wife used the ‘Hold on a Minute’ statement to give her point of view. Colin had got tired of their constant bickering and didn’t want to hear what she had to say. His mind was made up, they were separating.

Later the next day as he was driving to a client appointment he got to thinking about his wife’s words. Recognising that he had been acting purely from his own perspective he thought more about what she’d said and decided to talk to her that evening.

When he got home, he and his wife sat down to really talk, and to listen to one another’s point of view. That’s all it is really – it’s the points of view and meaning we give to facts which create the bickering and disagreements. It is rarely the facts themselves, and we’d all do well to remember that.

It transpired that they both wanted the same thing but they expressed it in different ways. They both wanted an end to the bickering and separation while being one option, was not the only option.

To respond to ‘Hold on a Minute’ and use it fruitfully requires you to be willing to listen and to recognise that there are alternative opinions. Once you have all the facts and perspectives you will have more information on which to base a new decision – and that decision may well be very similar to the first one, or not!

‘I make decisions and then I make them right’ – Esther and Jerry Hicks You might wonder why make a decision in the first place? Well it’s important to recognise that making a decision is one thing, seeing it through is totally separate. You can make a new decision at any time you choose – the number you make is only limited by you.

This is quite useful and many people think of it as changing your mind and don’t want to look stupid by doing so. In my opinion changing your mind is preferable to doing something you might regret.

Just imagine if you were able to change your mind about something you decided many years ago – either consciously or not – what would that change mean to you now? Who could you now be that the old decision has denied you? What if you decided that you always do the best you can with the information you have at the time?

‘Hold on a Minute’ gives you time to reflect, gather information and do with it what you will. Start to welcome the opportunity to be fully aware of knowing more and allowing yourself to make even better decisions.

Photos

User comments

There are no user comments for this listing.
To write a comment please register or